I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
