I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
