I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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