Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
