I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
