thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
