Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
