Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
