I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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