hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
