remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
