did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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