1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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