you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
