sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
