i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize