so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
