What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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