I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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