she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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