So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
