ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
