As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
