I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
