marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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