Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
