If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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