Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
