D3 body, D1 cock
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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