Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
