Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
