what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
