dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
