what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
