.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
