do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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