I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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