so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
