i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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