He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
