So drunk, too bad you don't want this
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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