Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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