.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
