3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize