I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
