I hate all girls vehemently.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
