My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
