remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
