She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
