i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
