Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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