Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so let's talk penis.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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