Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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