i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
