I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
