Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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