i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
