Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
