Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
