I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
