I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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