Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
