My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
