I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
