okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize