I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
