hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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