Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
